How To Pick Your Ugly Christmas Sweater.

Only it’s not an ugly Christmas sweater anymore. Pajamas, dresses, suits, socks and t shirts of course. The market for ugly Christmas merchandise is booming more than ever. The season is coming and here are some tips on how to pick the best ugly Xmas sweater or a t shirt and be the star of a party.

It is funny and offensive at the same time.

You can go just for funny or just for offensive, but the combination of both works like a charm. Look for absurd, tacky images and sayings. Something that will make people laugh, blush and even think simultaneously. The blend of those feelings will have a lasting impression, just like a good movie or a book.

It has three or more colors.

Don’t limit yourself with the red-green-white combination. It is predictable and unimaginative. Add yellow or blue or the entire rainbow on top of that. When you look for a colorful sweater or a t shirt think of a Christmas tree decorated by a 4-year-old. That’s what we are going for.

It makes no sense.

Santa riding a dinosaur or Santa in a Hawaiian shirt. The more contradictory and incoherent the better. An asymmetrical design or upside-down pictures will add to it as well.

You know you achieved your goal when your t shirt or dress or a tie is impossible to ignore. People should stare and laugh. You’ll be the star of every party, win the ugly sweater contest and have lots of fun. Ugly Christmas wear is ironic and amusing, but it very well plays the role of a carnival mask. It breaks barriers down when you let yourself a bit loose and can be the person you are.

Enjoy your holiday season!